


Karkat Goes to Hogwarts but Hes Christain and the Author of Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles and Hes Trans and in a Swimsuit

by shrekssteamyorgy22



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Homestuck
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Christian Karkat, Christianity, Egbert is Voldemort, Eridan is Rachel Bloom, Hogwarts, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles - Freeform, Homophobia, Multi, Trans Character, Trans Karkat Vantas, Transphobia, Travis scott burger, boobies, karkat wrote hogwarts miracle and prayer, like the fanfiction, trisha paytas might be real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrekssteamyorgy22/pseuds/shrekssteamyorgy22
Summary: Karkat and Dave get sucked into a Harry Potter book and go to Hogwarts! What will happen, who will they meet along the way? How long can I stand writing this until I go absolutely loopy? Find out by reading!
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/ J. K. Rowling
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Karkat crawls of the pool after almost drowning to death because he can't swim. God fucking dammit, Dave is such an asshole, forcing him to come to the pool when he KNOWS his ass is way to fat and volumptuous for him to be able to swim properly. Also, this swimsuit is way to revealing, Karkat is a loyal Christian and this outfit is too lewd! Hopefully Jesus will forgive him because he's wearing his cross necklace. Though recently he's been feeling a bit disconnected from the lord, and uncomfortable with his body. He sees Dave walking up to him from uhh wherever he was idk.

"hey karkitty, how was the swim?" Dave asks Karkat with that stupid shit eating look on his face.  
"HOLY SHIT DAVE, IVE TOLD YOU A MILLION DAMN TIMES THAT I CANT SWIM, I JUST SINK TO THE BOTTOM BECAUSE OF MY FAT JUICY ASS" He yelled back to him.  
Dave kinda just looked at him yknow like "woah come down jamal down pull out the 9" and all that.  
Karkat sighed.  
"YOU KNOW DAVE, IVE BEEN FEELING KINDA DYSPHORIC LATELY... MAYBE JESUS HASNT BEEN WITH ME? MAYBE I SHOULD PRAY MORE"  
"sounds like a you problem tbh" Dave responded.  
"WHATEVER"

Karkat walked over to one of the pool chairs or somethin and pulled out a towel from his bag, along with a copy of whatever the first harry pooter book is called. He hates the original story line of this book, Magic is a sin created by the devil, so he took it upon himself to write his own version, "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles." He believes that his work is a much better alternative, but hes really just reading the original so he can criticize it more and get away from Dave being fucking awful.

He flips open the book and starts reading, but then Dave, that stupid shaded fucker walks over to him in that stupid fucking "Cool Kid" way.  
"OH MY GOSH DAVE (gosh because you should never use the lords name in vain) LITERALLY WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT YOU INSUFFERABLE NOOKSTAIN?"  
"damn kitkat, if you wanted to read we could have just gone to the library or something and mocked elderly people reading funeral home service magazines."<  
"also why the hell are you reading those books, didnt you hate them so much you wrote an entire fan fiction surrounding them about praising jesus or something?" Dave asked while peering over his shoulder to look at the book.  
"FIRST OFF, IT IS NOT A FANFICTION, IT IS A DETAILED AND DESCRIPTIVE LITERATUAL MASTERPIECE FOR ALL AGES. SECOND, I AM SPECIFICALLLY READING THIS BOOK JUST BECAUSE IT IS SOMEHOW EVEN SLIGHTLY LESS INSUFFERABLE THEN YOU, YOU IGNORAMOUS" God does this asshole ever shut up?

"nah, we should totally go to mcdonalds, ive been waiting to try the fabled travis scott burger." Dave responded  
"DAVE, I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR HUMAN FOOD OR YOUR HUMAN 'MCDONALDS'" Karkat responded very annoyed.  
"wait trolls dont have mcdonalds? your planet really mustve been hell"  
"OH MY GOSH CAN YOU PLEASE JUST-"

Dave suddenly grabbed his hand and started trying to pull him away  
"cmom man the travis scott burger is one of the most anticipated releases of all paradox space"  
"I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT"  
"dude you can read your lame wizard book in the mcdonalds its not that big a deal"  
"LET ME GO-  
Suddenly, his finger quickly slid across the side of the page, forming a paper cut.  
"OW, SHIT!"  
His candy red blood fell onto the page, he was still fearful about anybody seeing his blood color from his sweeps on Alternia.

He almost pulled his hand away from the adrenaline alone, but then then there was a sharp spark that shot through his body, and suddenly, everything went white.


	2. Chapter 2

okokok i foundout how to insert the pics i had to upload my art to devviant art (yoiloverzip) pls follow and i got the inspiration pic from googlr cuz i originally found it ther soooo yea

i sent the original pic on discord and one of my friends wwas like "wwhy is he holding a wwand is he going to hogwwarts" and i wwas like "yeah" so wwe came up wwith this 😁👍


End file.
